March 24, 2003

The War's Oldest Reporter

The other day when I wrote about San Francisco Chronicle reporter Carl Nolte, who is in Iraq with U.S. forces, I said I didn't know his age. Now I do.

The AP has a story out on Nolte, who is 69, making him the front-runner for the oldest reporter in Iraq.

Nolte was one of my journalism professors and the years obviously have not dampered his energy - or his wit.

Asked what the young troops he is accompanying think of him, Nolte answered, "I don't think they think I'm nuts. They think of me as their mascot."

 Associated Press Reporter doesn't let age keep him off war's front lines
 Carl Nolte Read his stories
 First Draft War is Not Anonymous

Posted by Tim Porter at March 24, 2003 08:05 AM

First Draft Post-War Lexicon

Alaska oil drilling – A political issue that became mute after American President George Bush conquered Iraq and appropriated Iraqi oil wells.

Collateral Damage – Getting what you want no matter what even if it involves hurting others to the point of death.

Decapitation Attack – A good way to start a war because it gives the impression that you are after your opponent’s leadership and not trying to conquer the entire country for your own benefit.

Department of Offence – The new name for the Department of Defense.

Department of Offense – Runner-up in the contest for a new name for the Department of Defense.

Democracy – obsolete. Used to mean “government by the people’.

Freedom – Something that America used to stand for.

Global Peace – obsolete. See Collateral Damage.

Humanitarian Bombing – This is when you bomb people to save them.

Iraq – the 51st State of the United States of America. Capital: Bushville.

Justice – See “Freedom”.

Liberty – See “Freedom”.

North Korea – 53rd State of the United States of America. Capital: Powelltown

Pakistan – the 52nd State of the United States of America. Capital: Rumsfeld.

Post-war Re-constriction. This is when you overthrow a regime that is not working in your best interests with a new regime that is working in your best interests – with little concern for the benefit of the common people who are oppressed by said regimes. Often presented to the people as “Post-war Reconstruction”.

United Nations. obsolete. An attempt at global cooperation that was effectively annihilated by America in 2003. See Collateral Damage.

Posted by: George Butcher on March 24, 2003 11:55 AM
Post a comment